Great Expectations

Most of the truly life-changing moments sneak up on us but there are rare times when you know that you are about to step into something monumental. It is exciting to stand on the brink of a moment that I know will change the way I see the world. As I am a few days away from a mission trip to Mexico, I know that I am about to embark on a trip that will teach me more about what it means to love and serve and sacrifice and hope. I'm sure that I will learn much and I am already excited to know that I will come back changed. I know that there will be much pain and brokenness in the world that I will step into. In the same way, I know that there will be much joy and beauty. And so as I experience change within me, my prayer is that I will then affect change in the world outside of me.

V

On Tuesday night, I had the great opportunity to join my friends Cameron and Anna at a movie night that a bunch of folks from Cam's church put together. They watch a movie each week and then have a discussion afterwards. This week the movie was V for Vendetta. Kenny and I first saw this movie in LA, entering the theater with no idea of what to expect and leaving very impacted. I am happy to report that the second time around was just as profound, though by completely different themes.

Before I go on, I will say that I hate previews to movies because they cause you to go into a movie with a perception already formed rather than letting the art take you some where. So if you've not seen this movie already please stop reading...go rent it, let it move you, come to your own conclusions...

But if you have seen it, here are a few thoughts that really struck me:

Benjamin Franklin said, "Those that are willing to sacrifice freedom for security deserve neither." This theme was very apparent in the film as the society at large allowed their government to use fear and manipulation to attain control over the people. The movie took this to an extreme but the concept is certainly not a foreign one. It begged the question of how much we hand over to preserve our way of life and if we, too, allow the fear of the unknown to be the decisive voice in our cultural and political landscape. Do we elect officials, make decisions, fight for issues because we are passionate for something or because we are fearful of something? Early in the movie, there was an obvious sentiment by the officials that the people would blindly follow and trust. They had conditioned this culture to accept and trust without question or logic. Ignorance is bliss when you feel that it perpetuates your way of life. And so they went on for quite some time not questioning, not challenging, not resisting, even though the government that they empowered was etching away at their freedom. The people came to fear their government, rather than the government their people. If we the people really do live in a democratic society then we actually should have quite a bit of influence over the political process. Do we? And if not, do we care? Or are we, in the same way, choosing to blindly trust in order to maintain the comforts we've grown accustomed to? And if we continue to do so, will the extremes demonstrated in V for Vendetta someday be eerily familiar? These are the questions I had watching the film, these are the questions I still have...

Self Vs Sacrifice

I feel the greatest love we can offer one another is that which comes from a selfless place, when we want so much for someone that we give of ourselves, even if it is at a personal sacrifice. Obviously, the greatest demonstration of love was done in such a fashion. There is something so beautiful about a love that is given without condition or stipulations or pre-requisites. A love like this is authentic and trust-worthy and so very rare. I want nothing more than to love in this way. But some days our humanity makes it so hard.

My boyfriend left a week ago to spend the month doing mission work in Juarez, Mexico . And I absolutely love the fact that he is a man that loves God and loves people so much that he gives a month each summer to serve this community. He has an amazing heart and it is his tenderness and compassion that made me fall in love with him from the moment I met him and causes me to love him a bit more every day.

And so today I am struggling with loving selflessly, simply because I woke up sad. I know that seems so trivial...and it really is so trivial. I felt guilty for missing him so much but I do. Of course, if given the choice of having him close or freeing him to go, I would want him to go without any hesitation. But with that being said, it doesn't mean that some days I don't just want him close because life without him is just lesser. But learning to love means learning to sacrifice.

As he spends the month giving of himself, I want nothing more than to do the same: to love him enough to support him as he loves that community and to love that community enough to give them what I love most: him.

Summertime and The Living is Easy

So, apparently, it's summer...

I know this because of several reasons:

• The busted A/C in my car has gone from something that I should fix to something I must fix as I drive past the bank showing it read a temperature of 97.


• It was still warm enough after work to hit the rooftop pool at the Y.
  
• One of my favorite Nashville traditions has started: Movies in the Park


• CMA Music Fest has taken the city by storm this week, as it does every year at this time. This must be the honky-tonk equivalent of the Christmas season.


• Kenny and I can watch the fireworks from Greer Stadium from his bedroom window.


• I run random errands at the office just to be outside.


• I crave homemade popsicles from Las Paletas.

The funny thing is that I don't know when summer arrived. Logging into my blog today, I realized how nonstop the last few months have been. But now, I am sitting, writing, being.

I am so excited for this season and the chance to lose myself, and thus, find myself, in the sweet, simple joys of summer.