Philippians 4:6-7 - Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
It's easy to have faith when life makes sense, when the stars align to find your bank account, your closet, your social calendar, and your heart full. But this rarely, if ever, happens. No, most of the time, faith must be found when circumstances are less than ideal. I am thankful to serve a God who realizes the struggles of life, that there will be daily challenges but He speaks to us in the midst of the tumult. He realizes that there is plenty of reason to be anxious but beckons to our hearts to give that to Him. And He promises peace, a peace that passes understanding. He gives us the ability to stand in the center of the storm and find a peace that isn't logical but is based in a much greater truth.
Last night, Kenny and I shared a glass of wine as we looked out on a bleak and dreary Nashville and I said we should toast. It seemed silly in the midst of a world that somedays feels like it is crashing down on us but we toasted anyway. "To continuing to hope even when it is hard"...peace that passes understanding.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
The Promise of Rest
The Lord promises rest for the weary. What a gift on a day like today.
I find that I've grown so tired lately. The entertainment industry seems so fascinating and exciting to those outside of it. What they don't know is that it is tiring and trite and insincere. I grew up in a town where good people where just that: good. They were kind and honest, hardworking and true. What you see is what you get. Yes, most city-dwellers would look at these simple folks and judge them as lesser, as if they lack the depth and interest of the metropolitan elite. But there is a depth that comes from having pride in what you do and who you are, of making decisions because they are the right ones, of treating people with kindness and respect because all people: rich, poor, young, old, ALL people deserve that.
Today, I look expectantly towards a trip home as it gives the chance to surround myself with good and genuine people. To have people invest me because it's me and not because of what I may be able to do for them. To have people say they are going to do something and actually do it. To be in a place of peace and solace and rest. To hear the Lord in a still, small voice as I nestle in my childhood home with people I love, "Come to me, all ye who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest."
I find that I've grown so tired lately. The entertainment industry seems so fascinating and exciting to those outside of it. What they don't know is that it is tiring and trite and insincere. I grew up in a town where good people where just that: good. They were kind and honest, hardworking and true. What you see is what you get. Yes, most city-dwellers would look at these simple folks and judge them as lesser, as if they lack the depth and interest of the metropolitan elite. But there is a depth that comes from having pride in what you do and who you are, of making decisions because they are the right ones, of treating people with kindness and respect because all people: rich, poor, young, old, ALL people deserve that.
Today, I look expectantly towards a trip home as it gives the chance to surround myself with good and genuine people. To have people invest me because it's me and not because of what I may be able to do for them. To have people say they are going to do something and actually do it. To be in a place of peace and solace and rest. To hear the Lord in a still, small voice as I nestle in my childhood home with people I love, "Come to me, all ye who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest."
Monday, December 8, 2008
Is Your Word Any Good?
My former pastor asked a question during all of the major services that he conducted as our church. He would ask parents presenting their child for baptism or the individual joining the church or the couple taking their wedding vows, if they gave their word to raise the child well, or serve the church well or love their new spouse well. Inevitably, they would say yes. And then he would follow-up with the real question: Is Your Word Any Good?
That question is increasingly pertinent in my life as I realize how carelessly promises are made and broken. If our word is truly are bond, I feel like most relationships are holding on by a thread.
I work in an industry where words are tossed out without regard for the authenticity. And I've grown so weary of it. I am tired of careless commitments and insincere promises. I have come to a place that I desire to quantify almost anything anyone offers me these day. I just want something that is real. Don't offer false, hollow words or empty flattery, they are but a clanging symbol. Give me something that is true but I fear that most people do most people even know what is true anymore. I wonder what has happened in our society to make us so comfortable with lying, especially when we can rationalize them as we deem them the little ones...promising to call even though you know you won't because you want to appear nice, saying that you will follow-up on something when you have no intention of doing so, all of the hollow words we throw out knowing full well there is no depth behild them. We've come to a place that we are more concerned with seeming than being. We want to seem nice, seem helpful, seem interested, seem kind. We are in the game of controlliong perceptions but, unfortunately under those terms, we all lose.
I long to see a restoration of integrity in our culture where our words hold value and merit, spoken out of truth.
That question is increasingly pertinent in my life as I realize how carelessly promises are made and broken. If our word is truly are bond, I feel like most relationships are holding on by a thread.
I work in an industry where words are tossed out without regard for the authenticity. And I've grown so weary of it. I am tired of careless commitments and insincere promises. I have come to a place that I desire to quantify almost anything anyone offers me these day. I just want something that is real. Don't offer false, hollow words or empty flattery, they are but a clanging symbol. Give me something that is true but I fear that most people do most people even know what is true anymore. I wonder what has happened in our society to make us so comfortable with lying, especially when we can rationalize them as we deem them the little ones...promising to call even though you know you won't because you want to appear nice, saying that you will follow-up on something when you have no intention of doing so, all of the hollow words we throw out knowing full well there is no depth behild them. We've come to a place that we are more concerned with seeming than being. We want to seem nice, seem helpful, seem interested, seem kind. We are in the game of controlliong perceptions but, unfortunately under those terms, we all lose.
I long to see a restoration of integrity in our culture where our words hold value and merit, spoken out of truth.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
The Love to Lead a Nation
As Michelle Obama addressed the Democratic National Convention last night, I was struck by the idea of togetherness, of a partnership where a couple forges ahead in the world as a unified front. It was a beautiful picture of the importance of finding someone that you love and support and who does the same in return, someone that believes in your dreams and you in theirs, and someone who not only loves you but also really likes you, who is proud to be associated with you. Although all candidate wives are involved in campaigning and the race for the White House, something about the relationship of the Obamas is really striking. There is an overarching "we are in this together" aura that makes me hopeful of what an America with the Obamas at the helm could look like. I was so moved by Michelle's statement when speaking of her husband, "I believe he will make an extraordinary president". There was such a confidence and a pride, almost inviting the world to see into what she sees in him. The woman that knows him best believing that he will be extraordinary, putting her stamp of approval and blessing on the person that she knows to their depths. It was as if she said to our nation that they have no idea of the greatness that exists within the man she loves, urging them to give him the platform from which to celebrate the passion and purpose and resolve of the man that she believes will transform our nation.
I understand that kind of love. A love that sees one's partner as extraordinary, full of greatness and purpose and influence and passion. A love that believes that if all could see what you see in them, the world would be a better place. And a love that is willing to fight to make sure that the world will someday celebrate them the way that you do. I am honored to love an extraordinary man.
I understand that kind of love. A love that sees one's partner as extraordinary, full of greatness and purpose and influence and passion. A love that believes that if all could see what you see in them, the world would be a better place. And a love that is willing to fight to make sure that the world will someday celebrate them the way that you do. I am honored to love an extraordinary man.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Healing
I was grouchy yesterday. It was a Sunday afternoon and I was grouchy. This is significant because it never happens...I love Sunday afternoons.
But rather than enjoying what may be one of the last summer Sundays, I was in a funk that it was nearly impossible to snap out of. I got caught up in worrying about something that I just need to let go of and it cast a dreary shadow on an otherwise beautiful day.
In retrospect, I probably should have taken a nap or gone to the park or called a friend. I eventually went for a run. By that point, much of the day was gone. But even if I had done all of those things, I would have only delayed the pain. I convinced myself that the only way for me to feel better was to have another person fix it or fix me or both.
Today I have been thinking about healing and what that really means. I think my tendency is to look into myself to make things better, get over it, rise about it, to find healing by persevering through the hurt but when I do all of these things to try to repair my own heart, I fall painfully short. It's like putting a band aid on a broken leg. And so today, I am compelled to take pain to the only One that can truly bring healing in the midst of my hurt. He knows where I am broken, where I feel pain and He can take me in His arms and bring me to a place where I am whole and complete. But I must go to Him. I must acknowledge the fact that I can't fix me. Apart from His grace, I will remain in pain and although I may mask it temporarily, it won't go away.
And so I take my pain to the One who, on the darkest of Sunday afternoons, did much more than just medicate the pain but instead restored our broken, hurting world and brought redemption and new life.
But rather than enjoying what may be one of the last summer Sundays, I was in a funk that it was nearly impossible to snap out of. I got caught up in worrying about something that I just need to let go of and it cast a dreary shadow on an otherwise beautiful day.
In retrospect, I probably should have taken a nap or gone to the park or called a friend. I eventually went for a run. By that point, much of the day was gone. But even if I had done all of those things, I would have only delayed the pain. I convinced myself that the only way for me to feel better was to have another person fix it or fix me or both.
Today I have been thinking about healing and what that really means. I think my tendency is to look into myself to make things better, get over it, rise about it, to find healing by persevering through the hurt but when I do all of these things to try to repair my own heart, I fall painfully short. It's like putting a band aid on a broken leg. And so today, I am compelled to take pain to the only One that can truly bring healing in the midst of my hurt. He knows where I am broken, where I feel pain and He can take me in His arms and bring me to a place where I am whole and complete. But I must go to Him. I must acknowledge the fact that I can't fix me. Apart from His grace, I will remain in pain and although I may mask it temporarily, it won't go away.
And so I take my pain to the One who, on the darkest of Sunday afternoons, did much more than just medicate the pain but instead restored our broken, hurting world and brought redemption and new life.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Grace
A song lyrics that sums up much of what I feel about life and love:
"Maybe herein lies the place where grace starts
When we're both lost and God is found"
There is something beautiful in our brokenness.
"Maybe herein lies the place where grace starts
When we're both lost and God is found"
There is something beautiful in our brokenness.
Monday, July 28, 2008
The World Is Lesser When You Leave
I usually adore the summer as I find so much joy in enjoying the outdoors, spending time at the pool, and having more time with friends, sitting on porches and talking about life, grilling out, going to amusement parks and just generally enjoying a fuller, richer kind of life surrounded by people I love a whole lot. This has been a different kind of summer for me as I feel like I've spent the vast majority of it alone. I've missed Kenny, I've missed Julie, I've missed Ashley, I've missed Cameron, I've missed Lindsey, I've missed Jen: all of the people that make Nashville really feel like home to me. It's funny how I usually enjoy solitude when I feel like I have some stolen moments away from the whole world. But I have found over the past few months that those moments lose their splendor when they are not sandwiched within the joy of community. I understand why we are not islands, why we were made to live in fellowship with one another, and why we were made to learn from and with our friends. I've had a hard week, made harder by the fact that I don't feel like there is a release from it, when I can be with people that really know and love me, with whom I can be honest when my life is less than perfect and who will love me, not in spite of, but maybe even because of my shortcomings. So hurry home, sweet friends. Know that you leave a great void and that I am eager to celebrate the joy I find in all of you.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Fulfillment
From Reflections for Ragamuffins by Phillip Yancey:
"We recognize that Jesus responds to needs and desires we've long had, perhaps without being fully aware of them. He speaks to our innermost being, supplies our needs, satisfies our desires. In Him the obscure is illuminated, the uncertain yields to certain, insecurity is replaced by a deep sense of security. In Him, we find that we have come to understand many things that baffled us. The encounter with Jesus awakens us to possibilities we have never seen, and we know that this Person is what we have been seeking."
"We recognize that Jesus responds to needs and desires we've long had, perhaps without being fully aware of them. He speaks to our innermost being, supplies our needs, satisfies our desires. In Him the obscure is illuminated, the uncertain yields to certain, insecurity is replaced by a deep sense of security. In Him, we find that we have come to understand many things that baffled us. The encounter with Jesus awakens us to possibilities we have never seen, and we know that this Person is what we have been seeking."
"Delight yourself in the Lord
and He will give you the desires of your heart."
~Psalm 37:4
~Psalm 37:4
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Perspective
Mother Theresa was quoted to say, "Let my heart be broken by that which breaks the heart of God." It was my prayer as I went to Mexico. And it has been a bittersweet one to have answered.
I thought I knew what poverty looked like until I stepped into the colonia. This cardboard village was filled with people living in such devastating conditions, tiny homes of boxes, crates, tires, scraps, with dirt floors and few contents. But the most remarkable part to me was that the people living there had such joy: true, unabashed joy. They were thankful for what they had and they were generous with it. I was amazed that any time we would give out of our plenitude, they would reciprocate out of their poverty. And they would do so without hesitation. It was a beautiful picture of priorities. In our culture, we focus so much on what we have and how we can protect it. How humbling to see a world that finds their joy in bigger things: faith, family, community.
It's funny how I went into this trip, eager to teach, to serve and to build and instead, I learned, I received, and I was broken.
Monday, July 7, 2008
I Ain't No Country Song
Toby Keith has a song with the line in it, "What happens down in Mexico, stays in Mexico..." I've spent the past week trying to figure out how to put into words the way my trip to Juarez impacted my life. It struck me this morning that I won't have one massive blog summarizing everything I learned in Mexico, but rather, my trip will be in everything I write from this point forward because it now ingrained into the fiber of who I am. Simply put, what happened in Mexico, certainly won't stay there for me....
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Great Expectations
Most of the truly life-changing moments sneak up on us but there are rare times when you know that you are about to step into something monumental. It is exciting to stand on the brink of a moment that I know will change the way I see the world. As I am a few days away from a mission trip to Mexico, I know that I am about to embark on a trip that will teach me more about what it means to love and serve and sacrifice and hope. I'm sure that I will learn much and I am already excited to know that I will come back changed. I know that there will be much pain and brokenness in the world that I will step into. In the same way, I know that there will be much joy and beauty. And so as I experience change within me, my prayer is that I will then affect change in the world outside of me.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
V
On Tuesday night, I had the great opportunity to join my friends Cameron and Anna at a movie night that a bunch of folks from Cam's church put together. They watch a movie each week and then have a discussion afterwards. This week the movie was V for Vendetta. Kenny and I first saw this movie in LA, entering the theater with no idea of what to expect and leaving very impacted. I am happy to report that the second time around was just as profound, though by completely different themes.
Before I go on, I will say that I hate previews to movies because they cause you to go into a movie with a perception already formed rather than letting the art take you some where. So if you've not seen this movie already please stop reading...go rent it, let it move you, come to your own conclusions...
But if you have seen it, here are a few thoughts that really struck me:
Benjamin Franklin said, "Those that are willing to sacrifice freedom for security deserve neither." This theme was very apparent in the film as the society at large allowed their government to use fear and manipulation to attain control over the people. The movie took this to an extreme but the concept is certainly not a foreign one. It begged the question of how much we hand over to preserve our way of life and if we, too, allow the fear of the unknown to be the decisive voice in our cultural and political landscape. Do we elect officials, make decisions, fight for issues because we are passionate for something or because we are fearful of something? Early in the movie, there was an obvious sentiment by the officials that the people would blindly follow and trust. They had conditioned this culture to accept and trust without question or logic. Ignorance is bliss when you feel that it perpetuates your way of life. And so they went on for quite some time not questioning, not challenging, not resisting, even though the government that they empowered was etching away at their freedom. The people came to fear their government, rather than the government their people. If we the people really do live in a democratic society then we actually should have quite a bit of influence over the political process. Do we? And if not, do we care? Or are we, in the same way, choosing to blindly trust in order to maintain the comforts we've grown accustomed to? And if we continue to do so, will the extremes demonstrated in V for Vendetta someday be eerily familiar? These are the questions I had watching the film, these are the questions I still have...
Before I go on, I will say that I hate previews to movies because they cause you to go into a movie with a perception already formed rather than letting the art take you some where. So if you've not seen this movie already please stop reading...go rent it, let it move you, come to your own conclusions...
But if you have seen it, here are a few thoughts that really struck me:
Benjamin Franklin said, "Those that are willing to sacrifice freedom for security deserve neither." This theme was very apparent in the film as the society at large allowed their government to use fear and manipulation to attain control over the people. The movie took this to an extreme but the concept is certainly not a foreign one. It begged the question of how much we hand over to preserve our way of life and if we, too, allow the fear of the unknown to be the decisive voice in our cultural and political landscape. Do we elect officials, make decisions, fight for issues because we are passionate for something or because we are fearful of something? Early in the movie, there was an obvious sentiment by the officials that the people would blindly follow and trust. They had conditioned this culture to accept and trust without question or logic. Ignorance is bliss when you feel that it perpetuates your way of life. And so they went on for quite some time not questioning, not challenging, not resisting, even though the government that they empowered was etching away at their freedom. The people came to fear their government, rather than the government their people. If we the people really do live in a democratic society then we actually should have quite a bit of influence over the political process. Do we? And if not, do we care? Or are we, in the same way, choosing to blindly trust in order to maintain the comforts we've grown accustomed to? And if we continue to do so, will the extremes demonstrated in V for Vendetta someday be eerily familiar? These are the questions I had watching the film, these are the questions I still have...
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Self Vs Sacrifice
I feel the greatest love we can offer one another is that which comes from a selfless place, when we want so much for someone that we give of ourselves, even if it is at a personal sacrifice. Obviously, the greatest demonstration of love was done in such a fashion. There is something so beautiful about a love that is given without condition or stipulations or pre-requisites. A love like this is authentic and trust-worthy and so very rare. I want nothing more than to love in this way. But some days our humanity makes it so hard.
My boyfriend left a week ago to spend the month doing mission work in Juarez, Mexico . And I absolutely love the fact that he is a man that loves God and loves people so much that he gives a month each summer to serve this community. He has an amazing heart and it is his tenderness and compassion that made me fall in love with him from the moment I met him and causes me to love him a bit more every day.
And so today I am struggling with loving selflessly, simply because I woke up sad. I know that seems so trivial...and it really is so trivial. I felt guilty for missing him so much but I do. Of course, if given the choice of having him close or freeing him to go, I would want him to go without any hesitation. But with that being said, it doesn't mean that some days I don't just want him close because life without him is just lesser. But learning to love means learning to sacrifice.
As he spends the month giving of himself, I want nothing more than to do the same: to love him enough to support him as he loves that community and to love that community enough to give them what I love most: him.
My boyfriend left a week ago to spend the month doing mission work in Juarez, Mexico . And I absolutely love the fact that he is a man that loves God and loves people so much that he gives a month each summer to serve this community. He has an amazing heart and it is his tenderness and compassion that made me fall in love with him from the moment I met him and causes me to love him a bit more every day.
And so today I am struggling with loving selflessly, simply because I woke up sad. I know that seems so trivial...and it really is so trivial. I felt guilty for missing him so much but I do. Of course, if given the choice of having him close or freeing him to go, I would want him to go without any hesitation. But with that being said, it doesn't mean that some days I don't just want him close because life without him is just lesser. But learning to love means learning to sacrifice.
As he spends the month giving of himself, I want nothing more than to do the same: to love him enough to support him as he loves that community and to love that community enough to give them what I love most: him.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Summertime and The Living is Easy
So, apparently, it's summer...
I know this because of several reasons:
- The busted A/C in my car has gone from something that I should fix to something I must fix as I drive past the bank showing it read a temperature of 97.
- It was still warm enough after work to hit the rooftop pool at the Y.
- One of my favorite Nashville traditions has started: Movies in the Park
- CMA Music Fest has taken the city by storm this week, as it does every year at this time. This must be the honky-tonk equivalent of the Christmas season.
- Kenny and I can watch the fireworks from Greer Stadium from his bedroom window.
- I run random errands at the office just to be outside.
- I crave homemade popsicles from Las Paletas.
The funny thing is that I don't know when summer arrived. Logging into my blog today, I realized how nonstop the last few months have been. But now, I am sitting, writing, being.
I am so excited for this season and the chance to lose myself, and thus, find myself, in the sweet, simple joys of summer.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Shhhhh....
A statement that came to me this week that I think might be on to something...
There is no healing in silence.
It is much easier to stay silent when the storms of life hit us as it is often terrifying to write or verbalize our greatest fears. But it is not until we do so, that healing can begin. I am thankful for hard conversations that sometimes rattle the soul but, in the end, communicate truth upon which new life can grow.
There is no healing in silence.
There is no healing in silence.
It is much easier to stay silent when the storms of life hit us as it is often terrifying to write or verbalize our greatest fears. But it is not until we do so, that healing can begin. I am thankful for hard conversations that sometimes rattle the soul but, in the end, communicate truth upon which new life can grow.
There is no healing in silence.
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Oh sun, how I have missed you....
It's sunny in Nashville today and the air is filled with promises of tulips and trips to the farmer's market for fresh produce and saturdays spent reading by the pool and perfect evenings sitting on patios with friends and talking for hours. Hope is found in the midst of what felt like an endless gray season. Ah, my soul breathes again....
Friday, February 29, 2008
The Last Crusade
The age old question asked of children is what they want to be when they grow up.
My answer to that question changed a multitude of times over the years....for a very long time I would say Indiana Jones....no , not one of the girls that came in and out of his adventures...no, I wanted to be him. I mean, seriously, he had the life: travel and adventure, that allowed him to walk with an air of unassuming bad-assness.
Now in my world of meetings and appointments and corporate calendars, I wish someone would ask me now what I want to be when I grow up. What would my answer be? Free, I want to be free. Free to live life fully, to have the travel and adventure I long for, to be in control of my time and my future, to pursue things I love, to surround myself with those that mean so much to me and invest in them to the degree I long to. I want to wake up each day with a heart full of passion to embrace the day ahead. But I find that the pressure of a job even if you love it (which I usually do), the burden of financial responsibility and the deadlines that we are held to by the various people in authority in our lives, keep us from knowing true freedom.
So the question remains of how to get there: how do you create a life in which you can experience complete freedom. When the life you lead is the life you desire. I'm not sure yet. But I intend on making it my grown-up goal to find out. And you will know I found it if you see me walking with that unassuming air of bad-assness....
My answer to that question changed a multitude of times over the years....for a very long time I would say Indiana Jones....no , not one of the girls that came in and out of his adventures...no, I wanted to be him. I mean, seriously, he had the life: travel and adventure, that allowed him to walk with an air of unassuming bad-assness.
Now in my world of meetings and appointments and corporate calendars, I wish someone would ask me now what I want to be when I grow up. What would my answer be? Free, I want to be free. Free to live life fully, to have the travel and adventure I long for, to be in control of my time and my future, to pursue things I love, to surround myself with those that mean so much to me and invest in them to the degree I long to. I want to wake up each day with a heart full of passion to embrace the day ahead. But I find that the pressure of a job even if you love it (which I usually do), the burden of financial responsibility and the deadlines that we are held to by the various people in authority in our lives, keep us from knowing true freedom.
So the question remains of how to get there: how do you create a life in which you can experience complete freedom. When the life you lead is the life you desire. I'm not sure yet. But I intend on making it my grown-up goal to find out. And you will know I found it if you see me walking with that unassuming air of bad-assness....
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Snow Days
Growing up in Pittsburgh meant growing up with snow. In that part of the world, it was as common as Steelers memorabilia, Heinz ketchup or people referring to groups as 'yinz' (if you are from Pittsburgh, you can appreciate the references). In my youth I loved it because it could mean days off from school, snowball fights, and sled ridding. Yet as I grew older and found that no one gives grown-ups snow days, my feelings towards the cold winter months were not nearly as cheery. And so I moved south to live in what I believed to be the land of constant sunshine and Indian summers. Unfortunately my time in Tennessee has not been nearly as temperate as I would have hoped. Although we certainly don't see much snow and the extreme cold days never hit, it is often just very gray. And I think I've realized how much my heart is impacted by the weather. Cold months force you indoors and my heart is not nearly as happy there. And so I write this entry on what Tennesseans may consider a snow day, meaning there were flurries that fell within the last twenty four hours though they didn't stick, and I am longing for spring. Longing to throw open the windows and feel the sun. To spend Saturdays in a park or on a hike or by a pool. To join friends at restaurant patios for margaritas. To see life growing everywhere around me and to feel fully alive again.
“The day the Lord created hope was probably the same day he created spring.” ~Bern Williams
“The day the Lord created hope was probably the same day he created spring.” ~Bern Williams
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
You are the Potter
The Bible often uses references of God being the potter and us, the clay. I always thought that was a sweet reference, implying that God makes something beautiful from our empty form. And, as a Christian, it does leave a warm feeling to think that God is shaping us into a beautiful work of art, that we are being sculpted and molded into something that He will stand back and call good. Yet, I have learned recently that this interpretation is only a glimpse into the depth of that text.
I started taking a pottery class several weeks ago and have learned quite a bit about the nature of clay. I have learned that clay is stubborn and difficult to shape. I have learned the intense amount of determination and focus it takes to sculpt a piece of clay. I have learned that in order to have a fighting chance at getting the clay to a pleasing point, you must first prepare it and that each careful step gets you closer to achieving the goal. And sometimes in spite of your best efforts, the clay refuses to comply with the direction that you are trying to take it. And there are moments that, regardless of your effort and focus, you need to just stop what you are doing and begin anew. That process is comprised of removing the class from the wheel, placing it aside and allowing a week for the clay to dry to a point that it is workable again, then you wash over it with a sponge and start again.
Obviously, the sermon illustrations could go on for days....
So now, I laugh at the reference of the Potter and the clay. Although it still reflects God's desire to take our empty form and create a beautiful work of art, it also points out that we are stubborn and sometimes fight the best intentions of the Potter to mold us well. And there are points that we fight so hard that there is nothing to do but take a moment, regroup and allow that cleansing water to pour over us so the Potter's work can begin again.
I started taking a pottery class several weeks ago and have learned quite a bit about the nature of clay. I have learned that clay is stubborn and difficult to shape. I have learned the intense amount of determination and focus it takes to sculpt a piece of clay. I have learned that in order to have a fighting chance at getting the clay to a pleasing point, you must first prepare it and that each careful step gets you closer to achieving the goal. And sometimes in spite of your best efforts, the clay refuses to comply with the direction that you are trying to take it. And there are moments that, regardless of your effort and focus, you need to just stop what you are doing and begin anew. That process is comprised of removing the class from the wheel, placing it aside and allowing a week for the clay to dry to a point that it is workable again, then you wash over it with a sponge and start again.
Obviously, the sermon illustrations could go on for days....
So now, I laugh at the reference of the Potter and the clay. Although it still reflects God's desire to take our empty form and create a beautiful work of art, it also points out that we are stubborn and sometimes fight the best intentions of the Potter to mold us well. And there are points that we fight so hard that there is nothing to do but take a moment, regroup and allow that cleansing water to pour over us so the Potter's work can begin again.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Lyrics and Life
I heard this Patty Griffin song yesterday and remarked how every girl I know falls into this song somewhere, as if each girl has a line that highlights her. I was always, "all the girls working overtime, telling you everything is fine." And I'm not that girl anymore. Life and heartache and a boyfriend who doesn't let me play the martyr has brought me out of that world. So the question was asked of where I am in that song now...and I'm not sure. I'm in a fairly new place and I think it is a "great for now" sort of place. Though it still feels in the middle...somewhere between where I was to where I want to be, which in all of it's "great for now-ness", can still on some days feel a bit like purgatory. I long for various moments of arriving though I'm not sure how or when those moments will come. So until then, I will try to find myself in these lyrics and in this life.
Be Careful
~Patty Griffin
All the girls in the Paris night
All the girls in the pale moonlight
All the girls with the shopping bags
All the girls with the washing rags
All the girls on the telephone
All the girls standing all alone
All the girls sitting on the wire
One by one fly into the fire
Be careful how you bend me
Be careful where you send me
Careful how you end me
Be careful with me
All the girls standing by your beds
All the girls standing on their heads
All the girls with the broken arms
All the girls with the deadly charms
All the girls in the restaurant
Pretending to be nonchalant
Funny girls on the TV shows
Close your eyes and they turn to snow
Be careful how you bend me
Be careful where you send me
Careful how you end me
Be careful with me
All the girls working overtime
Telling you everything is fine
All the girls in the beauty shops
Girls' tongues catching the raindrops
All the girls that you'll never see
Forever a mystery
All the girls with their secret ways
All the girls who have gone astray
Be careful how you bend me
Be careful where you send me
Careful how you end me
Be careful with me
Be careful how you bend me
Be careful with me
Be Careful
~Patty Griffin
All the girls in the Paris night
All the girls in the pale moonlight
All the girls with the shopping bags
All the girls with the washing rags
All the girls on the telephone
All the girls standing all alone
All the girls sitting on the wire
One by one fly into the fire
Be careful how you bend me
Be careful where you send me
Careful how you end me
Be careful with me
All the girls standing by your beds
All the girls standing on their heads
All the girls with the broken arms
All the girls with the deadly charms
All the girls in the restaurant
Pretending to be nonchalant
Funny girls on the TV shows
Close your eyes and they turn to snow
Be careful how you bend me
Be careful where you send me
Careful how you end me
Be careful with me
All the girls working overtime
Telling you everything is fine
All the girls in the beauty shops
Girls' tongues catching the raindrops
All the girls that you'll never see
Forever a mystery
All the girls with their secret ways
All the girls who have gone astray
Be careful how you bend me
Be careful where you send me
Careful how you end me
Be careful with me
Be careful how you bend me
Be careful with me
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
TYPECAST
Definition: 1. cast somebody repeatedly in similar roles: to give an actor a series of parts of the same type, to the extent that the performer becomes associated with that kind of role and is overlooked for others.I'm a performer. And I'm damn good at it. So much so that most people in my life don't even realize when I am acting. I can convince everyone, including myself, that this character I play is me. And, for the most part, it is. But there are those places in my heart that I am afraid to uncover because I fear that I will no longer be accepted by the watching world.
So if all of the world is a stage, I would say that most of us choose the parts that are safe: they require little of our true self and allow us to act in a role without giving all of our self to it. It requires little investment or vulnerability. Yet, the problem with this safe dance is that it prohibits us from playing our part: the role for which we were created.
And so I am starting this blog to delve into those places in my heart that are genuine and real and are sometimes terrifying, because in vulnerability, there is the risk of rejection or judgement. But in order to play my part and play it well, I must delve into the deep recesses of my heart: the places I have come to fear the most. This is my first step of moving off the stage and into life. And so it begins...
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